Guy Shepherd

No croppie has attracted such discussion in the last month as Guy Shepherd (above). As a vocal newcomer to the scene his well-spoken tones, earnest comments, natty cap, tight shorts and bare feet are the sort of thing you’d expect to have encountered from members of the Center for Crop Circle Studies in the early 1990s. Nobody else could even consider going head-to-head with Guy in YouTube videos where he reads chapters from his first novel. Titled Circum Navigation, the book is a weird, lengthy and slightly trippy tale of crop circles, anomalous light phenomena, drug culture, rural life, military types and some of the most oddly unarousing sex scenes you’ll ever read. Hats off to Guy. He’s a far better class of vocal croppie than the snipey lunatics we’ve become used to in recent years.

Jack Jane

Crop circle commentator Jack Jane has become an unknown Facebook legend in her own right. Her jaded view of the English crop circle scene is a fantastic mix of sharp comment, great wit, sometimes misinformed views and confusion as to what certain people are up to. Her July takedowns of Team Clandestine will not be forgotten for a very long time and it’s great to see she’s still producing her amusing MS Paint graphics.

A Jack Jane special. Wonderful.

Monique Klinkenbergh

At the end of last year The Croppie pondered whether Monique’s involvement in that infamous Chinese reality show would damage her reputation. It seems The Croppie‘s doubts were unfounded and it was positive to hear first hand what Monique had gained from her experience of featuring in the show. Although others may be less positive towards Monique we should all be thankful we have her exhibition in Honeystreet; the closest thing we could ever expect to come to a dedicated crop circle museum in Britain.

Team Clandestine

Let’s begin with the positives. Team Clandestine’s junior member, Dan, has had the decency to apologise for some rather entertaining Facebook rants. Thank you; it’s genuinely appreciated and The Croppie wishes you good luck with your walking adventure.

However, July has been a tough month for recently retired pseudo-crop circle artist Dene. For a while he had been doing his best to emulate the behaviour of a footballer who can’t deal with hanging up their boots. We had a comeback featuring a snake crop circle (remember that old ‘snake in the grass’ thing from Wilton Windmill, 2011) and then a ridiculous Facebook meltdown aimed at all and sundry who were either making money from crop circles, were believed to be making money from crop circles, had fallen out with Dene in 2012 or just randomly entered his arc of fire. Real woe-is-me stuff. Things have quietened down since then which is a good thing.

Team Clandestine’s two headed snake, aimed at everyone who doesn’t agree with the team philosophy. The Croppie hasn’t quite figured out how hiding the location of this formation will annoy anyone. Who would want to visit a pseudo-circle with no mystery or intrigue attached to it? Photograph by Cipro Clerc.

Dene, The Croppie takes no pleasure in watching anyone have meltdowns over flattened wheat and the circus that goes with it. We expect you’re still too proud to listen to advice but on this occasion you really should pay attention: you’ve allowed yourself to completely lose sight of why you go out into the fields. It’s no longer about the art, it’s about point scoring. You’ve become nothing more than a pawn for overseas third parties who are using you as a proxy to push their own agendas. Get back out into the field and make your circles. Accept that you’re never going to earn fame or make a lot of money from the phenomenon. Do it for the love of the circles, stay quiet and enjoy yourself. When circle making becomes a miserable experience you should consider what changes you need to make.