Now we’re gonna have to call him Big Time Hine. Just weeks after retiring from the fields, the brain cell behind Team Clandestine, world famous artist Dene, has finally found the adulation and acknowledgement he’s so desperately sought. Forget the appearance on Chinese television, Hiney has only gone and got himself a gig as a guest on the finger lickin’ good KFC Mysteries show.

Pitted against Somerset’s most hapless true believer Pete James in a cringeworthy debate (one that’s serving as a giant promo for the fast food chain), flat cap wearing Hiney reveals his tenuous grip on crop circle history, admits to executing crop circles, being an artis’ fer all hez loife and preferring boneless Zinger burgers to buckets.

It’s gripping stuff although you can’t help but feel a little sorry for Pete as he’s outdone by the one individual The Croppie previously thought was Somerset’s most simple man. We can only wonder what poor Pete thought he was getting into when he signed on the dotted line. Silly old cock.

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