Croppiedom has been without a bitter true-believer turned revenge seeker for a few years. But no longer. Step forward Hamish Jacobs, a man who hasn’t ever set foot in a crop circle but clearly knows it all … and then some.

Hamish has a mission. From the other side of the world he wants to see ‘openness and transparency’ amongst those involved in the creation and promotion of the circles phenomenon. (Next he’ll be heading out to watch a crop circle being made at Chisbury Chapel or using Photoshop to pencil in aliens on images of crop circles.)

Blah blah blah blah. No, this isn’t placeholder text. It’s The Croppie’s view on poor self-deluded and self-important Hamish. Looks like someone needs help composing insults. Faust! Pu(c)k!

The Croppie might have taken this fighter half seriously if he hadn’t chosen to vent on the page of Colin Andrews, a researcher who has sometimes stretched the boundaries of truth telling. (Just two of Colin’s most questionable moments include continuation of a paranormal hypothesis post-Doug and Dave, and his decision to sit for years upon knowledge pertaining to the human origins of the Crab Wood formation.)

The Croppie might even feel a pang of sympathy for Hamish if he hadn’t established himself as the biggest cheerleader for a supposedly whiter-than-white land artist, Dene Hine, who was an active player in an attempt to pass off the Ansty land art as a non-manmade crop circle. This is the same person who openly claims the work of others as his own when he has no right to do so. Such deliberate deception is allowed to pass without comment in Jacobs’ world.

Hamish can’t seem to grasp that genuine circle makers deceive nobody. They leave patterns in a field without comment. It’s up to the public — Hamish included — if they’re even interested at all, to draw conclusions as to the origins or meanings of these things.

Let’s be a bit more consistent Hamish. You’re yet another in a long line of bitter people who chose to believe in the paranormality of crop circles despite all of the evidence to the contrary that has sat in the public domain as far back as the 1980s.