Lead photograph by The Hampshire Flyer
Battle Royale gamers will almost certainly recognise the crop circle that recently appeared at Broad Hinton, Wiltshire. Commissioned by Epic Games, its appearance mirrors that of the ‘crop circle’ included in the new season of the popular game Fortnite.
The springy state of the crop — young barley — suggests the circle had been in the field for at least a week prior to being made public on Saturday 5th June.
Despite some conspiracy theories doing the social media rounds, the farmer has said this circle is most definitely manmade. He has requested would be visitors stay away.
Don’t shoot the messengers…
Korton incoming….
Aside from the British weather exceeding expectations last Bank Holiday (glorious phototropism) the month ahead promises bright sunlight, sharp shadows and heart chakras a’plenty.
51.515726919947326, -0.018992288316876882 many orbs have been photographed near there. It’s a real hot-spot.
Unfortunately, it seems that the Portsmouth-Sheffield connection might have been uncovered by some sharp observers/investigators/detectives on the inter of web. Lucky they don’t read this. I suppose it’s more obvious if you consider Agent Enzo’s outward appearance as a Ketamine-casualty from a 2000’s era hardcore free-party. It was inevitable he’d be matey with such a modern antiquarian as Agent GW spinning the wheels of steel down Wilts way. I like to keep just on the right side of Dutch Gabba, but those parties could be hazardous places. I always practiced safe Fire Poi myself, but it’s a myth that milk washes out kerosene from your mouth while fire breathing. Keep a damp towel handy and don’t swallow, is my motto. The laxative effect can be overwhelming.
Watching the sun come up over a Sheff-field of wheat free party can really Open Your Eyes, expecially if that classic Jekyll & Clarkey banger is playing over the speaker stack. Back then there was actual smoke, but though the 2021 sunrise on Hackpen Hill is the same kind of vibe, I find myself sitting in a haze of Twelve Monkeys Harambe while the drones do their best work overhead. They have the range for it, so you might as well pick a good observation post. Plus the car parking is nice up there, when vehicles aren’t getting displaced/misplaced by enthusiastic Orb boys. Enzo messaged that he was at home at the time, by screen-shotting a map of his gaff. It didn’t have his GPS cursor on it though – I don’t think Agent Enzo knows how GPS works. Bless.
Dorset is a dry county for now, no matter how hard we hitch-hiked around the counties. But elsewhere, with CE3K on Netflix at the moment, some super-classic tripod landing circles are just around the corner. Also bagels. Much bagel. And wonk. The Orb boys are working on some wonk. Our agent draws wonk and places it before us on the channel. I always think an artist should draw what he/she sees before them, not what you think you want to see.
Channel closing. Korton out. Discontinue.
I hate to say it but GW was entirely unaware of this formation before it was made public.
After you choked us out of the Zaffie (with that stink mate, the only thing that made it worth the trip was the guy coming out of the nettles like he’d seen Jesus on fire:) 🙂 You need a proper boot not that Vauxhall charverama for the new patio decking in the back coz now it’s sticking up in the back window. Put a hat on it and a piccie of JJ.jobs a good un hit me up later for it
Visited this circle yesterday.. Was a bloke there with a heavy accent. He asked me “Has tha seen a fucking whippet enywer pal?”. I was unsure of what he was asking at first, so just ran away.. I later figured out he was merely looking for his wife. I hadn’t seen her. Hope he found her.
Visited Sunday as soon as the info was out there. Its a place known for strange goings on, and my visit lived up to that reputation.
On approaching the circle a strange little figure approached me, apparently half chimp half human, sporting a brown tweed jacket.
My instinct was to get the hell out of there, but given its short stature I just held my ground.
It spoke to me in short fast bursts, asking if I’d seen any tiny balls.. Well I obviously had as it was firmly cupping two whilst trying to fallate itself. At this point I decide I’d take my leave, but the strange fellow just followed me waving what I took to be its penis in my direction. I then remembered the banana I’d brought along to snack on, so I broke into a run and threw the fruit over my shoulder hoping its animal instincts would. kick in and it would break off for elevenses. My tactic worked and I made my way back to the car without further incident. Opening the car door I noticed a strange creamy ectoplasm upon the handle with a card detailing a website that I looked into once home.. I can’t really give any detail. as it requested I pay £49.99 to view the content.
Overall a nice afternoon walk, despite not getting to examine the formation as closely as I’d wanted.