Dorset Crop Circle Incoming … Possibly

Sometimes there really are no words that can adequately describe things.

Take the following exhibit from this morning. It’s taken from a Facebook group called ‘Dorset Landscapes’.

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Yes, you read that right. Davies has apparently seen the photo of a field, announced a crop circle and, best of all, wants to know where the field is. Really? Is even Davies that dim? Surely not.

There Will Be No Competition

Talking of things with potentially horrendous endings, Richard Skerman’s Crop Circle Making Competition 2022 now has a Facebook presence. First to join up were none other than Davies and his ‘mentor’ Dene Hine. ‘Wowzer,’ Dan enthused a little too desperately, ‘can’t wait for this! The world’s best land artists battling it out over two nights for the first time in 30 years!’

If Dan and Dene fighting it out between themselves — or versus nobody — constitutes the ‘world’s best’ then there is really nowhere left for humanity to turn in a universe of post-modern relativism.

Hang on, you may cry, if you even care. Why won’t anyone else be competing? Well, for three reasons.

One, the competition could be viewed as a set-up. Organiser Richard Skerman claims to have one Bitcoin, about £36,000, to spend on the whole exercise. An unknown croppie with money to burn and no sponsor behind him. That seems legit. Given The Croppie understands Skerman believes in a genuine phenomenon, we could be forgiven for wondering if this is a means to an end for the organiser to collect human intelligence on circle makers.

Two, Skerman’s attempt to sell the supposed competition is laced with enough male edginess as to be from an episode of The Grand Tour. Cat and mouse … eh? … what happens in the field stays in the field … scope for bantz, brah. It’s hardly professional or appealing beyond the lowest common denominator.

Three, the whole idea of the competition undermines what circle making is about. If that makes no sense then digest the following:

Former member Rod Dickinson once stated ‘There have been [circle making] contests in England before. There have been prizes offered. It really doesn’t do any good. It only leads to negativity. Once you identity the artist, all the mystery and magic is gone. Before, you had something beautiful that inspires people; afterwards you’ve just got disillusioned believers and artists in trouble. Nobody wins.’

It’s true. Any circle maker who truly respects the history of the phenomenon will not enter the competition unless it is to fail miserably and demonstrate that humans cannot make crop circles to a good standard.

The closing date for competition entries is 1 January 2022. Maybe Enzo Brabazon will show us what his circle making orbs can do after all?