Where does The Croppie begin? Really.

Cerealogist Michael Glickman had left this world for less than 24 hours before crop circle parasite Matthew Williams decided to share his feelings with an unpleasant video on YouTube.

Never one to do anything other than persistently agitate, scrape the bottom of the nursey toilet and draw attention to himself, Williams recited a considered, meaningful and deep sonnet from his heart:

Michael Glickman is dead
And Michael Glickman is dead
He fell on his fucking head
And I am still around.
So who won? Goodbye.

Classy. Can anyone explain what Williams has won? The title of Most Disliked Man in Wiltshire?

Whilst Williams bizarrely feels he has gained some immense victory over Glickman you have to wonder what type of individual celebrates outliving an elderly man with Multiple Sclerosis. 2019’s Croppie of the Year could possibly consider how he would have felt if people had celebrated the death of his mother or father. He’d probably have thrown a hissy fit. This is what he does when he cannot get his own way, although it isn’t easy to judge how much of this is genuine or an exercise in pleasing his YouTube audience.

So what’s the beef? The animosity Williams expresses towards Glickman stems from the former’s prosecution in November 2000 for making a crop circle. Glickman came into possession of Williams’s construction diagram for the circle and forwarded it to the police. Williams can hardly complain: he confessed to his actions rather than attempting to mount a reasoned defence. In effect, Williams allowed himself to be found guilty and has exploited the notoriety, attention and publicity it has subsequently given him. He owes the late Michael more than a cheap video as it was Glickman who inadvertently gave Williams a platform to stand on.

Nobody has to like any other person. Nobody is forbidden from talking ill of the recently deceased. However, common decency and respect for Glickman’s family should have led anyone possessing even a milligram of compassion to stay quiet for at least a while longer. But this is Williams we are dealing with. He’s spent the past few weeks whining — and even contacting the police — with regard to a supposedly rival photographer’s activities during the lockdown. Williams doesn’t seem to possess the intelligence to question his own behaviour, or highlight his own lockdown violations whilst he’s been sloping off to Bristol to break into deserted buildings with his urbex crew. And let us not forget Williams’s video from 2019 when tears rolled down his cheeks because he couldn’t control what other circle makers were doing; he couldn’t control who the Crop Circle Connector went to first for a quick turnaround on photographs. That night we learned he was bullied at school … how the world was against him … we should all feel sorry for him. Apparently he’s given his life to the crop circles, he’s got ‘tenure’. But now this. Who is the bully now? Scoring points from the death of another human being before Michael is laid to rest and the tears of his family dry. Let’s not forget the threats he levelled at a man with a heart condition last year either.

Legend has it Williams has been described as both a ‘five year old’ and a ‘manbaby’ in recent years. This is unfair. The majority of young children show far more decency and social awareness than Williams.

Hopefully the world will be far more reasoned and charitable towards Williams, his family and friends ***cough*** when time catches up with him, as it will do with us all. So, where’s Gary King when you need him?